4 is the new 40 in stockholm

My daughter is 4 now, has been for two months.  And, boy, do I feel old.

This was a magic line, turning 4.  All of a sudden, she is a kid, not a toddler.  She gives me lip, she says she loves me, she sighs, she sings long songs from memory, she draws two-page ocean scenes, and she remembers everything I say and calls me on it.

She just looks bigger, runs faster and gets bored in this floppy, whiny kid kind of way.

I had no idea 4 meant … this.  I suppose I thought it happened at 5, when I started kindergarten.

And suddenly I realize that I don’t have two very young children anymore, that I am two short years from not having small children at all.

And, as this blog proves quite clearly, I’ve built up quite the self-image around having small children.  That seems a natural conclusion of all this parental leave, all this time off, all this concrete commitment, which then just … ends.

I could care less that I am 37, that 40, while not all that close, is now visible in the medium distance on a clear day.

But I do care about the start of elementary school (which in Sweden means technically 7 but really 6 since kids then go to a kindergarten type place, I gather).

What am I going to do with myself?  I just learned all these damn lullabies by heart!


One thought on “4 is the new 40 in stockholm

  1. Third baby? ; )

    I was just think how great it is that it took me 5 years to get the hang of it, and know I am finally all the things I wanted to be for a small kid. At least there is a new one coming in along in our family to enjoy it…if my attention span will hold.

    Though a fun home schooling dad I know in USA firmly holds 4 to 11 are the best years. When snorkeling with my five year old in Italy this year, I knew what he meant.

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