Time and light get all mixed up in Daddyland. Today is the summer solstice, and I just came in at 8pm from sitting in bright sunshine in our park, the sun not to fall for hours and hours yet.
My first summer in Sweden I could not sleep for the light, no matter whether the blinds were down, whether I had my eyes covered, my body just would not slow down until midnight and started waking up at 3 in the morning.
It was awful.
Spring is cold here, and this means the solstice has an edge. It is only the beginning of summer, yet the light is already fading, bringing just the slightest hint of the winter darkness that looms mostly forgotten through late June and July (you start to remember with the first yellow leaves in August). Yet it is still the beginning of summer, and we will be out in the country, even farther north, where it will be lighter than even today in Stockholm, and there will be blueberries and fishing and digging and sleeping.
Our children are curiously unaffected by the summer. Last year NK was up to 9 each night, too wound up by the sun to get to sleep. This year she asks to go to bed at 5, and is drifting off by 6:15, “so tired from running with Tilla all morning.”
And the baby has started sleeping through the night, which is a miracle, except that it is his definition of night. He goes to bed at 6:30 himself.
And wakes up between 3:45 and 4:15, just like he always has, ready to play, in the darkest nights or now when the sun is already up.
I actually tried to cut out caffeine last week. I felt it was making me jittery.
Huge mistake. Never underestimate how tired a 4am wakeup makes you.
Now I am sleepy at 8:15 on the longest day of the year. Once I would have stayed up late to celebrate, but I have my long days already, and the next one starts at 3:45 tomorrow morning.