Here is my latest post for YourTango.com on how life in Daddyland affects relationships:
When you have small children, you have little control—not over your time, not over your money and certainly not over the little people crawling over your once-immaculate couch with frozen blueberries in their hands. My wife and I feel this as much as anyone. We live in less than 500 square feet with a 3-year-old and a 15-month-old. We’ve moved across the Atlantic twice since we got married five years ago. We’ve endured serious health issues and two kids who just refuse to sleep. And yet we are (barely) sane. Here are three slightly counterintuitive reasons why.
1. Coffee: We live in Sweden, and Swedish coffee is amazing. As I wrote last week, my wife and I do not share a bed because we co-sleep. But we do drink our amazing Swedish coffee together. This is our sacred moment of the morning, the only thing that cuts through diaper changes, feedings, crying, singing and role playing. Drinking coffee puts us way behind schedule on all that. It has the potential to increase our stress. Yet we still leap over toys and spilled Cheerios to sit on the couch. We allow ourselves to fully live in this moment, and we raise our voices to be heard over the din, and we sometimes swap a six-second hug or compulsively share, as in “I-had-this-insight-into-the-meaning-of-my-life-it-has-to-do-with-barefoot-shoes-and-hockey-and-hot-yoga.”
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