The competence of Sweden lulls you into compacency sometimes. For even when Swedes are flat out incompetent, especially in the bureaucracy, they project this quiet, matter of fact rightness about everything, like they hear you but you are just wrong. Poor you, though they would never say poor you, just think it in their rightness.
Then the daycare staff gives your milk allergic daughter milk, and you snap out of it and realize that you have to do everything yourself, take nothing for granted (such as the competence of a daycare administration), as if your kid were suddenly in the worst school in the worst school district in, say, rural North Korea (where they probably would not give my daughter milk at daycare, so I apologize dutiful rural North Korean daycare teachers).
So while we hear that the administrators are putting together reports on what happened (but never get a report), E took it upon herself to call all the bosses involved and find out what they have done (barely enough). And she took it upon herself to march up to the daycare and give the teachers practially one-on-one tutorials on milk allergies, what to do in the event of an anaphylatic shock, and how to use an EpiPen, which our daughter did not have but now does because they fed her cow milk.
So last Tuesday or Wednesday, we started letting NK eat at daycare again. And all is well. There is a specific teacher assigned to sit with her, and her seat is clearly marked out. NK got a little sad when the teachers stopped letting her pour her own milk at snack time (she never pours the wrong milk, they poured the wrong milk) but they found a compromise.
Now we have to balance our desire to educate and move on with the righteous drive to find out what the hell happened and why, and report all of it to whoever we need to report it to and hope those people don’t just sit silently and think, Poor you.