the cover up is almost always worse than the crime

We are still reeling from a glass of milk that our daughter drank at her daycare.  She is back to normal, that happened the next day.   She says she is mad, but she was also happy to go this morning, her first since last Thursday.

But her parents are not so calm and cool.  We remain in a swirl of meetings and revelations about how our milk allergic daughter got milk, why no one called an ambulance and why they still can’t tell us what happened.

Oh, and we learned that she also drank milk last year.  But no one told us.  Even after she coughed until she threw up.

The daycare administration is earnestly sorry, and assures us over and over, that it will not happen again.

Then, after a 90 minute meeting, this morning we walk into the dining room, and there is a note on the wall listing the dietary restrictions of all the children.

NK – No egg, no soy, no lactose.

What!?!?  Lactose intolerance is not the same as milk allergy.  This note is why they claim “everyone knew” about NK’s allergy, even though they never had a meeting, never passed on anything from her teachers last year (who apparently covered up the other glass of milk, anyway).  And this note is why someone poured her lactose free milk and told her to drink it.

Fine.  Huge mistake.  We can accept that.

But what is it still doing on the wall five days later?  They claim all this extensive work has been done, and they do not read the damn note on the wall?

And so we are left in a bad spot.  NK loves daycare, there are no kids her age not in daycare in Stockholm, and this daycare has a wonderful chef on site who cooks our allergic daughter great food.  Most of the private daycares seem to get food shipped in from caterers, and that will not work for us.

Plus we have the misfortune of living in the Stockholm area during a baby boom.  You just don’t get a new spot in the daycare of your choice in Solna (we tried to get in a parent cooperative, but no space).  And who is to say that another municipal daycare will be better?  Why should we trust anything the city of Solna does?

How far do we take this?   To the police?  To the politicians?  To the newspapers?

And how do we rebuild our trust at the same time?  Because it is likely NK will have to go to this daycare at least for the fall, and we can not transmit fear and anger to her.

4 thoughts on “the cover up is almost always worse than the crime

  1. Oh no. I feel for you all. We had some bad experiences with a municipal daycare (not saying that we can use the same brush to pain them all) but so far, so wonderful with a parents’ cooperative Montessori school here in Uppsala.

    I sincerely hope you can all breathe easier soon. I would take the media route. I personally had no idea milk and lactose allergies weren’t one in the same. It might be good to bring your story to light, better educating parents, the public and daycare workers. Best of luck rebuilding the trust.

  2. Let me also add this: Find out who “supervises” the daycare you want your child to attend and HIS/HER boss. Although people will tell you, things “don’t work this way in Sweden”, I have managed to get my way on this front TWICE now by being pleasantly persistent and super sweet. Make your applications for placement change immediately and then do some follow-up on a regular basis. I look forward to hearing of your success.

  3. It’s good to hear about your success. One does assume that you just get punished in Sweden for being persistent (though that has not stopped us yet). So we will give that a try. Now I have to figure out if there are any daycares, municipal or otherwise, that seem better …

    The real sad part is that our city, Solna, used to have an “allergy” daycare but scrapped it.

  4. Persistence pays (even in Sweden sometimes..ha!) Perhaps you could try a Montessori school. So far, the approach seems very centered around the individual child and his/her development. Plus, I find the turnover in staff is much lower in parental-cooperative schools, which Montessori schools tend to be.

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